please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
