like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
