Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
