her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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