dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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