Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
