Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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