my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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