Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
