If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Randomize
