you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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