I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
