I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
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