Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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