nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
