woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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