Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
