On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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