I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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