Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
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