the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
