Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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