Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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