YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
