Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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