if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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