pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
