My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
