I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
