So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Randomize
