WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
