Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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