There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
if only i could text you this smell
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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