all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
