epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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