woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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