I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
