So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
