Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
