just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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