dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
