break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
