There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
