Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
