i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
