I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize