My cat gives me a boner
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
