Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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