And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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