wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
we're so committed to being not committed
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
