About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
