i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm passing your future prison.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
