the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
