I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
