just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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