Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
false alarm. still invincible.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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