You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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