No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
