Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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